Tuesday, July 31, 2012

My Andy Rooney Moment

I love language.  I love how it sloshes around the brain barrel, slides down the syntax chute, and rolls around on the launching pad for further taste-testing before escaping the mouth.  Language can be beautiful, and it possesses the power to enlighten, exhort, encourage, excite, and elate.  It also has the power to exasperate.

Herewith are several examples that make me feel about as wonderful as fingernails on a blackboard. They should be banished from existence for all time.

"You know..." ~ If I know, then why are you telling me?  If I don't know, then just say what's on your mind, and then I'll know.

"At the end of the day..." ~ What, nothing of import happens at the beginning of the day? I'm sure that's when the early bird gets the worm, the newspaper is delivered, the coffee is brewed -- things that make the world go 'round.

"Honestly..." ~ I assume you'll always be honest.  However, if you plan to lie to me, at least be polite and give me a heads up.

"Like..." ~ This has been popular since before Facebook showed up.  It's old. And it's tired. And it needs to die.

"To tell you the truth..." ~ See "Honestly..."

"I mean..." ~ Again, I assume you'll always tell me what you mean.  Unless your purpose is to perplex me, just say what you mean, without preface, and we'll go from there.

"For what it's worth..." ~ Who gets to decide?  It might be worth two cents, or nothing, or a pile of gold.  And I'm fairly certain you don't want to know the value I assign to everything you tell me.  It could be good news, or it could be bad news.

Okay.  My Andy Rooney Moment is over.  Just wanted to give you something to slosh around in the brain barrel. When it slides down the syntax chute, please set free the words rolling around your launch pad. I love hearing from other language lovers.

1 comment:

  1. ~ whew ~ I was afraid the Andy Rooney moment might involve excessive eyebrow growth.

    I like your template. The birds are so cute. :)